Surgeons are Busy

Surgeon Grumpy is rounding on his patients. Nurse is trying to get Miss Busyhands ready for the day. A whole cluster of us around the nurses station are charting, looking at labs, chatting, writing progress notes.

Nurse: "Let me just give the patient a soapy washcloth and help her wash her hands and clean up a little bit..."

Surgeon Grumpy (swelling up like a toad): "Rar, rar, rar...very busy and important...rar, rar, rar...can't rearrange my whole schedule because you're inefficient...rar, rar, rar!"

Surgeon Grumpy turns and strides into the patient's room and immediately turns into the most charming man in the world. "How we doing today?!"

The patient gushes over him and thanks him profusely for saving her life while patting his arms and face.

The surgeon draws the curtain. The nurse explains to the little audience at the nurses station, "You know, she masturbates constantly."

I wouldn't be calling if it weren't important, okay?

Sometimes when doctors don't respond to pesky things like "studies" and "data" and "facts" you have to resort to cliche.

Confounded a surgeon with, "Sometimes experience just means that you make the same mistake over and over again with greater confidence."

I am coming to love the pout, the annoyed sigh and finally the, "Fine, do whatever you want."

Ok, so Nurse Jackie is a crappy show...

...but it had a pharmacist on it!

Granted, all I ever saw him do was count out vials of sterile water for injection and divert drugs to the main character, but how many TV hospitals even HAVE pharmacies?

Well...it HAD a pharmacy.

Episode #3, "They're replacing me with a bullshit robot pill machine."

Apparently the 4th of July falls on the 3rd this year.

Our administrators are under the impression that the hospital closes on weekends when they're not there. They didn't want to miss the opportunity for holiday pay and a three day weekend, so they officially moved the holiday from Saturday the 4th to Friday the 3rd.

I'm one of the lucky people who is actually involved in patient care who will be working the holiday but not getting any holiday pay. Thanks, guys!

This gave me chills...

So, here's a pharmacist who was just found guilty of involuntary manslaughter. He signed off on a chemo solution prepared by a tech using concentrated saline (23%!).

I literally can't understand how all those elements (chemo and concentrated saline) came together in one hood.

They probably aren't in favor of it...

What do USP 797 regs have to say about peeing in your sterile prep area?

Because I have to tell somebody...

"I had an accident."

When your pharmacy tech says this to you, you think...stubbed toe, needlestick...that kind of thing, right?

Nope, my tech had pissed her pants.